Divorce also known as dissolution or termination of marriage,Divorce in Islam has many forms, some are initiated by the husband and some initiated by the wife. The main traditional legal categories are talaq (repudiation), khulʿ (mutual divorce), The practice of divorce in Islam has varied according to time and place.
What do we generally expect when we witness a couple exchanging vows during their wedding ceremony? Obviously, a fairytale romance, no? But what happens when the fairytale doesn’t unwind as we thought it would? What if the couple drifts apart gradually? It could be that love decides to vacant both hearts at the same time, maybe just one partner walks out of the relationship, or something worse happens, like the death of the husband. In either of these cases, women have to suffer the most!
Reasons of Increased Divorce Rates
According to Dr Tahir Ashrafi, member of the CII, the divorce rate in Pakistan “has risen by 150 to 200pc”.(2014 stats)
We have collected Some of the biggest reasons of divorce below.
DOMESTIC ABUSE AND PATRIARCHY
The most common cause of divorce in Asia is domestic abuse & patriarchy ,where women are mostly considered as mannequins who have to leave their family and dreams behind to serve their husband and his whole family and cope up with everything that is thrown in their way, where as in countries like Pakistan and India where men dominate women domestic abuse is higher ,it is either in the form of physical abuse, mental torture or verbal abuse.Which adds up as the major reason of divorce.
Mostly marriages are dissolved because of financial conditions because man is the bread-winner in our society and he has to earn for the whole family which lets to frustration and fights due to lesser needs be fullfiled,And on the other hand if the girl isn’t used to such environments she seeks out for divorce.Mostly conservative families don’t want their daughter in law to be working which leads to the next category for divorce.
Most marriages end because of lack of truth,Not just marriage every relation without the base of trust is empty and baseless.Trust issues can arise if both parties are working and they don’t spend much time together which leads to infidelity and lack of trust & eventually leads to divorce.
An arranged marriage is often sometimes a forced marriage where the girl is forced to marry the guy she doesn’t want either the guy is forced into the marriage because of family issues,These kind of marriages don’t holdup for long, because lack of interest and frustration. A common myth says a love marriage ended up in more divorces than arranged marriage.
Life After Divorce
The divorced or widowed females mostly have to spend the rest of their live alone. But the question is why? Why do we find the thought of another happily ever after for the newly single woman to be unbearable? Let’s have a look at the woman’s life after losing her man due to fatal conditions or divorce.
An Overview of the “Life-after-Husband”
The onset of divorce can be caused by several reasons. A couple realizing that the relationship is not working out due to lack of compatibility, difference of opinions, or probably due to an extra-marital affair blooming. So it ends, and people start viewing the divorcee female as a “damaged good”.
The general consensus is that the divorce must be led on by the woman herself. It must be “she” who provoked the husband into seeking separation. Hardly, anyone in our society looks at the other side of the story. Probably the husband had other love affairs? Maybe he was abusive? Or what if he was a drug addict or an alcoholic? No, it is just generally assumed that the woman must be at fault. For instance, maybe she couldn’t get along with the in-laws, or she was too liberal in her attire and thoughts, or perhaps she wasn’t a “marriage material” at all.
Immediate family members may think otherwise, but distant relatives and friends definitely find such thoughts crossing their minds. For widows, the agony is usually deeper. While mourning the death of her lovable partner, she would be looked upon with frowns. People would tend to consider her unlucky for the departed soul. They see her as a bad omen, and keep their pregnant relatives away from her in the fear that the bad luck would rub on to their daughters. Why don’t they see that she is already suffering the most?
The Stigmas Associated with Remarrying
A woman marrying again? That’s out of question! How can she even date someone after getting divorced? She must have a hidden affair, the reason behind the separation! Even celebrities aren’t spared. They become the target of hotter gossips after deciding to remarry.
Widows are supposed to mourn their loss, for as long as they live. They are a sight of pity for everyone who crosses their path. Who would want to marry them anyway? Even if these women get permitted by their families to tie the knot again; they would only be considered by suitors who are much older, or those who are looking for a second or third wife. Moreover, they are likely to be taunted throughout their lives, even if they find a new groom. Why the discrimination? Why are these women viewed as “damaged goods”? They have a right of living a happy life-like everyone else. Don’t they? Our culture just can’t seem to digest this fact, unfortunately.
Have you ever wondered, why don’t we find it as shocking when a man considers remarrying after a divorce or death of his first wife? Why females have to be in the spotlight for harsh treatment as divorcees or widows? The end of one relationship doesn’t mean that she should be deprived of finding love again. It is time to realize that divorcees and widows have desires and aspirations too. Repair their broken wings and set them free!